Welcome to my new regular feature poking fun at heavy metal shirts with stupid designs. These shirts range from highly offensive to silly to just plain weird. Now don’t get me wrong as I love these bands and proudly wear these idiotic shirts (well most of them) but I am well aware they are pretty cheesy. These are my own shirts from my way too extensive collection and once I run out I’ll probably start farming TShirtSlayer or something similar. I will accept submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org so feel free to send any in and remember the stupider the better.
OK first up we have this charming long sleeve from the one and only Impaled Nazarene from their 1999 tour of Australia and New Zealand. This was a quite eventful tour as they were banned from playing one gig due to a right wing Christian idiot politician called Fred Nile and I think they nearly died in a potential car crash in New Zealand. I saw them in Canberra where I had no power to resist the awesomely stupid back print of this shirt. The gig was hilarious as their sound was a complete wall of noise where all you could make out were the vocals and the drums. Being a fan, this was OK by me as I could somewhat decipher the songs but I wondered about how any newbies in the crowd fared. Singer Mika won an even larger chunk of my heart by not only sounding amazing but also being super sleazy on stage and waggling his tongue around every chance he had. Sydney black metal legends Nazxul supported on this tour and ruled supreme too. The venue where this gig was is now a womens gym. I’ve seen footage of this gig on video but am not sure if it was ever uploaded. Fun times.